Mish Mash

I hope whoever reads my blog can keep up with the thought process that I'm going to make an attempt to put into writing in a coherent manner. If you can't follow me it's not your fault for this is merely and attempt on my part.

Do you ever feel as though there is a part deep within that is on the verge of being changed forever. A part that makes your head spin and turns your stomach into a mess of knots a causes your brain to be a thick cloud thoughts, ideas and questions. It makes you dizzy, you need to sit down. Somehow you need to figure out how to continue with everyday life while working out the mess that is brewing inside of you.

Don't misunderstand me, I'm not having a break down of any sort, more like a break through. Can you remember the first time you realized you weren't a kid anymore, you didn't fell like a adult, but you most definitely were not a kid. Well, I guess I can officially say I feel like an adult. And I say that because I have always thought you became an adult when you became aware and understood what is going on in the world around you.

Yesterday our local News Talk radio had a " care for Haiti" phone-a-thon or whatever those things are called were they raise money. In the 1st 1/2 hr they raise $8000. At the end of the 12hrs they had raised over $600,000.00 dollars. The Sask schools are having a penny/change drive and there challenging the other schools. I think I heard this morning that the kids had raise $20,000.00 in change. With both of these events the Govr't had agreed to match the amounts raised. $1,240,000.00, I'm not great with numbers but that's a big one. Now bare in mind that this is only 2 of the methods being used as a means to raise money. What hit me is that we are gathering these large amounts of money and it keeps on coming. What hit me is that this is the largest relief effort we will probably see in our life time. What hit me is for the most part this money is our pocket change. Do you understand how much money we spend on ourselves? I didn't, but I'm starting to and it hurts.

I read a blog yesterday yesterday that was written by a missionary in Haiti, her and her husband work at an orphanage there and they were far enough away that there community was not shook the way Port au prince and some of the closer communities was. She said that the word on the street is that " God doen't like Haiti" she knows and I know that that couldn't be farther from the truth but she understands why they feel this way, most of us would feel the same if we came from the poorest country in the world and our home was just shattered by an earth quake. The truth is that many people feel that way here because they don't get what they want when they want it so heaven forbid they were actually from a place were there was actually a really reason for there faith to be rocked.

Yesterday I felt proud that our nation was pulling up it's socks and doing something. To day I'm feeling a bit angry because I'm realizing the resources that we as everyday people have and we so often do nothing with. We have the ability to turn things upside down (in a good way) for these suffering countries but it take a natrual disater of great proportions for us to actually do something.

I work for a concrete company and the other day a man was in here who at some point had actually worked on some of the buildings in Haiti. He worked as a labourer but being in the industry he realized that a lot of the concrete they used to build those many buildings that collapsed killing so many were missing some very key elimints. We have the knowledge, resourses and the money to help, what we don't have is the understanding of what it could possibly be like to come from a coutry that is trying to make do with what we have. And we don't have that understanding because we have everything.

I'm sure it's just a matter of time before the people of North America use this as another reason to be angry at God but here's the thing , The people of Haiti are poor but we are not. Have you ever considered that God has actually given us everything we need, we're just selfish. Have you ever considered that WE had everything HAITI needed, but we kept it all to ourself. It's a lot easier to blame God then it is to realize that we could lived without something so someone else can have clean drinking water, or live in a building that is made out of concrete that has the proper re-enforcement.

whether you agree with me or not, these are some of the toughts keeping me up at night, tieing my stomach in knots, making my head spin and filling my head with a thick cloud.