So this is my first attempt at embracing the fact that I'm a part of a generation that is supposed to know everything about computers and technology, so far so good, but I'm still feeling a bit intimidated by the concept of having my own blog.

These past couple months have really got to me, and the reason being is I can't actually remember September or October happening, they both just seem like a blur. Joel and I were both blessed to have the past 4 day off and as Monday approached I realized how much I love having unspoken for time to do everything that doesn't always happen during a typical week. I could get my errands and cleaning done and still have time to relax. Joel is always on my case because I have a really hard time just sitting down, there's always something else I need to do whether it be this that or the other. Life happens so fast and before you know it, it's the middle of November. I'm realizing I'm not loving what I've allowed to become normal in my life, the hussel and the bussel, a constant need to remain occupied. I've struggled for a good part of my life with the question of "what am I supposed to do? what is my purpose?" and I'm realizing that every time I've cried out to God , cried in my room, cried in my husbands arms I've never just stopped. "Be still" I hear it all the time, and have heard it for as long as I can remember but I still make the choice to busy myself. Christmas is coming, my favorite time of the year, but this year I want Chrismas to be different. This year I want to go into the Christmas season with a quite heart and be still before my saviour, the same saviour that came so that I can have life; a life full of meaning and not just bills, shoping lists, cleaning supplies and every other excuse I could use to keep me from just being. I don't think I can stop life from happening so fast and realizing all the above hasn't given me an instant answer to my personal struggle of what will I be, but I can atleast make an effort to be more intentional with how I use my time. It's a start, and you have to start somewhere so I'm going to call that progress.